Boys!

Who Needs Hair Gel?
Me: Noah, can I have one of your french fries?
Noah: Here you go, mom. When you're done eating it, just wipe your hands in your hair.

Remind Me Never To Ride That Bus or
Look What Cool Tricks They Teach You On The Bus
Me: Miles, I put some tissues in the side pocket of your backpack, so that if you ever need to wipe your nose on the bus, you'll have a tissue.
Miles: Mom. I don't need that.
Me: Well, let's just leave them there 'just in case'.
Miles (sounding very upbeat & helpful): No. If I need to wipe my nose I'll use my arm. OR, I could pick out my boogie and then roll it between my hands into a ball and then throw it.

Ain't it the Truth
Me: Noah, please stop crying. You've been in the bathtub for a long time. Its time to get out.
Noah (crying): It's not time yet!
Me (pretend crying): It's not time yet!
Noah (very definitively): Mommy, you can't cry! You can't cry because you don't LOVE to cry the way I LOVE to cry.